"Everything Jewish"

So we get this catalog in the mail that contains "everything Jewish". Thought I would look to see what was included. Here is my top 5:

1. There is a Garden of Eden Lovers' Candle, with entwined nude wax figures, with flowers painted on them, and flames spurting from each of their heads, which would (I am certain) burn down first, so eventually you would have fiery legs painted with green stems burning to the ground. "sure to be appreciated by any loving couple" $20. By the way, you can also get a robed loving couple holding Shabbat candle holders, an "aluminum lovers menorah" or a "pewter one heart statue" (you can imagine the anatomical convention of that one).

2. You can get the full Shema inscribed into a crystal prism sitting on a glass base (Hebrew only). The carving "stands on a firm foundation". $150.

3. How about a "faberge-style", star of David, "egg pendant"? Yes, "a crystal star rests on an iridescent gold framed blue egg." $100. Or a pendant whicreads "I'll never stop loving you", with the "o" in stop being a star of David?

4. Or (figure this one out), a five volume Chumash written by Rabbi Yisrael Herczeg. (Mystery solved) $103.49. (I am sure that there is something in the gamatra that led to that price.)

5. Finally, Manny the Electric Menorah, which has a feature that lights just the right number of candles and plays Moaz Tzur at the same time. Comes with a special "battery saving" feature. $21.99