Medicare (12 cents)

I was told that I should apply for Medicare, even though I am covered by a health plan at my work. So, I called up the number given to me at the Social Security Administration. An 800 number.

They told me (by recorded voice) that they could help me in many ways but first (they told me this in English) that if I wanted to continue in Spanish I had to push number 2. I did not do that.

Then they gave me some thoughts about why I might be calling and asked me which was closest. I said "enroll in Medicare" and they said that they could help me with my Medicare questions, and switched me to another computer.

This computer told me that they would talk to me, but first they had some things to tell me about Medicare. And they went on for several minutes telling me things that were of no relevance to me, and there seemed (seems) to be no way to cut them short. When that was over, they asked me exactly what I wanted and I told them, and they switched me to another computer.

This computer told me, with sorrow, that my wait would be about ten minutes and I could call back at another time, but they tended to be very busy, especially at the start of the month and the start of the week, and the start of the day. Because it was 5 p.m. on the 24th of the month, I thought I was OK, and decided to hang on.

The computer then asked me a number of questions: my social security number, my first name, my last name, my mother's maiden name, the state or location of my birth. Each one I answered. If the computer heard me correctly, it responded by repeating what I had said and then asking me if it had repeated what I had said.

But several times, it did not understand me sufficiently. In those instances, what did it do? Believe it or not, it said "OK, let's skip that and go on to the next question."

Within about ten minutes a real live person came on; she was very helpful. She told me that I should apply for Part A (Hospitalization only); there was no charge. I could apply for part B when my health insurance was going to end and, as long as I did not dilly dally and applied promptly at that time, I would not be penalized with higher Medicare premiums. All of that was good news.

I asked if I could apply on line, and she said yes, and I was fine with that, and we hung up.

And then I went on line, and after trying to figure out from both the Medicare and the Social Security sites how to apply (that took quite a while believe it or not), I filled in the page of information about my age, etc, and then pushed the continue button, and got a screen that said: "Due to the answers you gave on the last page, you cannot process this application electronically".

I tried 3 times and got the same answer, so I called back Social Security and went through the exact same process as before, only this time my wait was to be "more than ten minutes". I waited.

I got another very nice young woman (who sounded like the precise voice-twin of the first) who told me that she did not understand how the first voice told me to apply on line, because (this was in the tone of her voice, not in her words) everyone with half a brain (I thought that was me) knows that you cannot apply to Part A online without applying to Part B as well.

So, I said, being a cheery old person, OK, let's do it by phone and she said, "OK, let's set you up with an appointment".

I said "What?" And she repeated what she had said before, so I said OK, and she said that next appointment was on October 11, and that someone would call me at 1 p.m.

What do you think the odds are that that will happen?