"Deathwatch: the Reality Show"

I am excited beyond excited that my new tv show, "Deathwatch: the Reality Show", has been accepted for a prime time slot next season on one of the country's major cable networks. [I wish I could identify the network, but cannot until the final papers are signed.]

The premise of the show is simple.

Individuals with what appear to be fatal illnesses, who can provide a doctor's certificate that it is unlikely that they will live more than another six weeks, can apply to be the subject of a mini-series on "D:RS". They (or their heirs or designees) will be well paid if accepted to appear. They will be called the "Subject".

The Host (to be selected at a later date, although John Edwards is the front runner) will be given a proxy by the Subject to make all decisions, including all economic and medical decisions on behalf of the Subject, and the Subject will waive any doctor-patient privilege. This is a necessary precondition to being selected as Subject.

During the course of the show, the Host will interview the Subject on a regular basis, and will communicate with the Subject's medical advisors, family members, and close friends and business associates, all in full view of the camera.

At any point in time, the Host will have the authority to take charge of the Subject's assets, give instructions to the Subject's medical advisors, and rewrite the Subject's last will and testament. (Don't worry, the Host will have signed a conflict of interest statement, guaranteeing that neither the Host, nor the Host's spouse or children shall be made beneficiary of any Subject).

The audience, through interactive arrangements still under development, will also be polled from time to time by the Host. Such as: shall we terminate all medical assitance? shall we decrease pain medication? shall we write the children out of the will? Etc. The results of each poll will be posted, although the Host will not be obligated to follow the poll results.

The family members, friends and business associates will be able to use whatever influence they can muster to encourage the Host to make decisions favorable to them. Survivor-like techniques will be encouraged. Each of these three groups will choose a leader, and two of the three leaders have the right to cancel the authority of the Host. However, upon such an occurrence, each major decision will be required to be presented to the viewing audience, and the substitute Host (that would be, most likely, Bill Maher) will be required to implement the results of the audience poll if more than 2/3 of those polled vote in a similar manner. No appeal would be available.

We hope for a combination of family intrigue, business deception, medical incompetence, mob hysteria -- just like real life. Upon the end of each mini-series, with what we will call not the death of the Subject (too coarse), or the passing of the Subject (too religious), but rather the Segue of the Subject, we hope to develop several other series which will follow: "Funeral: the Spectacle", and then "Afterlife: the Real Story". The development of "Funeral" is well under way, but the production of "Afterlife" will have to wait until we locate some angels.