Papacy Still an Open Race: McGwire backs out

Mark McGwire informed his fellow Cardinals today that he no longer wants to be considered for the open position of Pope. An early favorite, exuding power and charisma, McGwire refused to tell My Blog exactly why he was withdrawing his name from contention, but did say that it had nothing to do with allegations of performance enhancing drug use. When asked if he thought it would be inappropriate for a Pope to be on steroids, he said: "that's not for me to say."

In the meantime, Bernard Cardinal Law, has apparently recovered from his dismissal as head of the Boston archdiocese in the church pedophilia scandal. Being chosen to have given one of the major eulegies on Pope John Paul II to his fellow communicants, Law has emerged as the possible first American pope. He has denied that, if selected, he will chose the name Pope Michael Jackson I.

And, not to be outdone, Michael Jackson has said that (as soon as he puts his legal problems behind him) a run for the papacy might be in order. When asked what name he would choose, he quickly said "Innocent XIV".

But seriously, folks, John Paul's shoes will obviously be very difficult to fill. My Blog has it, however, on good authority, that we are not to worry. The Cardinals' deliberations will be very careful and we have been guaranteed that, whomever they choose, he will turn out to be infallible.