"Have a Cognac"

So, years ago, I was traveling by myself in Eastern Europe and found myself in Budapest, a terrific city, populated by very friendly people.

I attended a performance of Rigoletto at the Opera House, and while listening to this first class production in Hungarian (sort of sounded like Rigoletto sung by professionals in baby talk), something flew into my eye.

I blinked and cried through the first act, and then went to the usher (who like all of the ushers then appeared to be old, German speaking, probably Jewish, ladies) and in my best German, said "Wo ist die Toilette, bitte?" (Translation is not necessary; as you see German is an easy language.).

She answered and said "Die cafe ist dort", pointing through a crowded archway. I was sure she did not hear me, so repeated my question, and she repeated her answer. This time I said "Sie nicht verstehen. Ich sagte: Wo ist die Toilette?" and told her I needed to wash out my eye.

Without hesitation, she looked at me and said: (in German): You do not need a bathroom; you need a cognac.

I laughed, bought my cognac, and lo and behold, my eye teared and was fine.

So, today, thirty years later, I am walking down the street at lunch time, and something blows into my eye.

I really need a cognac.